We don’t have kids.  We don’t have a lot of friends with kids (thankfully, it would probably throw me into a mid-late 20’s crisis).  But we do have lots of family with kids.  Originally we thought we’d include them all in the ceremony- if you could walk down the aisle, you could be a flower girl or ring bearer.  But we nixed it early on, deciding that even though we love those kids, their parents would have a better time if they didn’t have to worry about them and could cut loose on a night off.

However, I do have one “niece” (she’s actually my first-cousin-once-removed, seeing as I have no brothers or sisters and my cousin is like a sister, we always make sure we’re very clear to her daughter that I’m “first-cousin-once-removed Jess,” ya know, so she’s not confused) who is pretty special to me.  Her mom is like a sister to me and she’s her oldest daughter.  I’ll never forget her being pregnant with her and going over to meet her just days after she was born.  Morgan is one of the cutest kids I know and I love her to death.  She is a total princess and has been a flower girl in no less than 4 weddings in her 8 years, so I knew our wedding wouldn’t be complete without her.  We asked her early on to be a flower girl and she grinned from ear to ear.  The idea of a pretty new dress and all eyes on her is her dream come true.

So when our venue asked if we’d be an over 21 party we immediately said “Yeah, of course” because there’s no kids at our wedding.  But then I realized and said to Ritchie, “What about Morgan?”  What about her?  On the one hand, we’re getting married in a vineyard and want the booze to be flowing: we want to have wine bottles on the table, glasses of sangria passed around at the ceremony, champagne toasts with dinner, and obviously, an open bar, and these things will be far more restricted and some unavailable to us if our wedding turns into one with kids.  But on the other hand, she’s a part of the ceremony and her mother is a bridesmaid- it’s not fair to expect her to whisk her off to a hotel afterwards and skip the dinner and dancing.  Ritchie thinks that because she’s 8 and clearly a kid and not a teenager that might sneak a glass of wine here and there, this shouldn’t bother the venue.  But I think that it will.

So I’m debating.  Maybe I’ll find my cousin a babysitter for Morgan who can take her to the hotel after cocktail hour, but I’d hate for her to miss the dinner.  Then again, there won’t be other kids there so how fun will our reception really be for an 8 year old?  The other option would be to just go with it and maybe mention offhandedly to the venue at the last minute that our flower girl will be there, but she’s 8 and won’t be sneaking booze.  But I don’t want it to look like we’re being deceitful or trying to pull a fast one.

What would you do?  Did you have/will you have any kids at your wedding?